Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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