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Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
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