I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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