why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
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I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she pinky promised me she was 18
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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