I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize