In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize