after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize