Actions speak louder than pants.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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