This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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