Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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