dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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