After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
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You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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