idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize