he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize