you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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