you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize