You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize