What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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