i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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