what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize