sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
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My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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