I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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