My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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