If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize