Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize