watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize