Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize