Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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