oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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