I'm so fucking centered right now
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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