You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize