if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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