All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize