I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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