A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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