I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize