her vagine was all disorganized.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
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i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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