She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize