I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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