It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
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I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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