i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize