I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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