Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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