There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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