I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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