Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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