is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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