I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize