I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
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You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
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Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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