yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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